RHYTHM AND VINES FESTIVAL

Gisborne NZ 2008/9

 

O, H and what? Take 20,000 extremely intoxicated, sunburned kiwi tweenies and turn them loose in a picturesque locale rife with tripping, falling and drowning hazards; ply them with fifteen dollars a bottle cider and lay back counting the profit you’ve made at over 400 bucks a head. The Rhythm and Vines festival at Gisborne on New Zealand’s East Coast is nothing if not pushing the boundaries of insanity, but the kids seemed to enjoy it—all a little too much for the likes of myself. At least the pandemonium allowed us advantageous members of the press to slip through some gaping fissures. There was also a little music.

 

Held over three nights leading up to New Year’s Eve, this year’s production attracted some sweet local tunes—Die!Die!Die!, Ladi6 and The Datsuns—and a fair whack of overseas draw-cards—Franz Ferdinand, Public Enemy, Santogold, The Kooks and Carl Cox (ick). Rain on the first night left us wondering if we were in for a repeat of 2008’s Meredith mud bath. Thankfully by the second afternoon the sun was out and casting its golden light through my cider…yum.

 

Ladi6 and Public Enemy managed to bust out some killer rap sets on the 30^th, but it was the Futureshock stage, which dished up-and-coming rockers, that truly impressed throughout. Wellington based The Secret Knives were astounding for a first performance whilst Dunedin’s Die!Die!Die! threw out the set of the festival. I don’t care what anybody says about this three-piece, their songs are seriously well constructed and their rhythms compulsive. The segregation of stages at the event proved fortuitus, but although the generic d’n’b and dodgy trance areas were clearly defined, unfortunately they were unavoidable as thoroughfares. To have spent the entire festival at the Futureshock stage would’ve been preferable to being in any of the other areas. Sadly we had to pass through the sickness and depravity to get there or back again. The below average dance portion of the night finished kindly early and we were able to get some rest before the onslaught on the New Year’s Eve crowd.

 

Never in my life have I seen that many people so obnoxiously wasted in one place as the 31^st of December at Rhythm and Vines. A word of advice: unless you’re into getting so fucked up you can barely speak, banging down some illicits in order to keep your feet to allow you to smash some heads and/or find some passed out drunk to make out with/vomit on… I would seriously avoid New Year’s Eve at this festival. It was an ugly, ugly scene. I’d be seriously surprised if it lasts in its current form, it was severely out of control. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as up for shenanigans as the next bloke, but public sex and masturbation, vomit and blood soaked tweenies engaging in confronting open displays of violence is revolting and just doesn’t amount to shits and giggles for me. The terrible blend of house and disco went on and on through the night while the kids got more spastic in a degenerative spiral of immorality that had begun hours earlier in the blistering sunshine. By all means if this sounds like a great way to ring in the New Year then knock yourself—or somebody else—out. Otherwise, I would give this one a WIDE berth.

 

Sam McDougall